A Personal Revolution
Maintaining the status quo as I know it, is no longer an option. Feeling “fine”, when you know you are capable of feeling extraordinary, is no longer acceptable. Knowing that you can attain the previously believed unattainable is where it’s at. And today, I’m starting my personal revolution.
Today was one of those days that all of us emotional, crazy, hormonal girls have where we just can’t get those jeans up and fitting the way they should or did a couple of weeks ago. Those days leave us feeling defeated, aggravated, irritated at our own bodies and ideals, cursing the chocolate industry that we have come to depend on for our daily ration of sanity in a tin wrapper. And when realizing that you are capable of so much more from within, it can spur a revolution, even if it is just a personal one.
Now, I’ve touted all of the accomplishments I have when it comes to sports and activity – ie, my lumberjack days, the horse riding and loving the outdoors, but those days haven’t been as prevalent in my daily ritual as I would have loved, because of injury (lumberjack injuries – two slipped discs and pinched sciatic), time (it takes at least 2 1/2 hours to spend with your ponies everyday), and outdoor conditions (geez, it’s cold and like hell if I’m going to go “run” outdoors and freeze my flanges off!)
But after watching Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution with Ben and taking our 1 hour afterwork/studying walk – and my crazy hormonal “I’m a fat girl” crying panic during it, I realized that I’m not a victim of the circumstances that got me to the now uncomfortable way I’m feeling, slowly, gradually and progressively it’s taken over, but I played the key role in allowing it to happen.
Never in my life have I been a “runner”. I’m a Czech girl with large calves, thunder thighs and a 135 pounds of muscle mass to her name, yeah I checked and got it all calculated – that’s a lot of muscle for an average girl. Even at the “ideal” BMI range of 145 pounds (I snigger to myself) I would appear sickly, skinny and like I’m suffering from an eating disorder. Even in high school I was not this tiny. During volleyball seasons and running a combined 5-6 miles a day, doing 250 pushups during practice, or 200 sit ups during that span I was still 160. But my current weight is also not ideal since it can only serve to exacerbate the injuries I’m already plagued with.
But no more. Ben and I are fairly healthy people as it is. I assure you. He’s a veggie freakazoid, double fiber bread-aholic, anti-white bread eating machine of eating well. I’m doing okay, but clearly this blog and baking experiments have not helped. See that little spare tire hanging around that midsection? That never used to be there. And it is NOT welcome anymore!
Amen sista!!! I hear you loud and clear every word you spoke! I am on a mission to not only 'look' but to 'FEEL' smoking hot, toned and healthy again!! Me being a foodie blogger has definitely expanded my waistline and Im over it!!!! Ill be posting alot more clean eating, healthy dishes to help me and others along the path of getting fit again : ) Loved this post!!! : )
I am totally with you!! Count me in!
I am uncomfortable in my body and I am sick of it!
I had an epiphany of sorts myself today, as I horked down three peanut butter cookies at my desk. Yes, they were homemade, but they were still COOKIES.
While I have worked really hard to put better food on the dinner table for my family and myself (which is why I started my blog in the first place), I am sorely lacking in the lunch department. Usually, I have leftovers, but if there are no leftovers… I clearly have cookies.
This is going to be fun!
Oh, and running – I'm not going to say it's the best thing EVER, but I do love the feeling of a good run. Get you a running buddy (even the canine kind, like I have), and try it. 🙂
–Decadent Philistines Save the World
What a good idea! I know what it feels like to be unhappy in your own body, even though I've never been anywhere near what anyone would consider overweight. Eating healthy shouldn't just be about losing weight anyway, but simply about being a healthy happy person. When you eat well you just feel so much better in every way! That being said, it's 4pm and today I've eaten a bowl of rice bran and yoghurt and a cut round with golden syrup….
You are gorgeous and I am so glad to hear that you know you can be strong and fit at any weight. It's all about how you feel, not a number!
I had a moment today where I just couldn't stop eating goldfish and pretzels…I ate like 3 servings of each :-/ The salt and cheese combo was too delicious haha
Lady, I am loving this declaration of food/body independence! Especially since I, like you have some freakin' sweet muscle mass going on that causes me to just puzzle over the scale sometimes.
Yes, it starts now.
good for you for being healful. if i could market my fat malabsorption and rapid weight loss, with no physical activitiy, i would gladly share the secrets. but, trust me, I'm clocking in at 110lbs at 5'9" and i'm sick and miserable. i hate when ppl ask me what my secret is to "being thin." i tell them a horrible stomach disease that is not worth being a size 0. i was much happier at 135-140 lbs than i am now