Maintaining the status quo as I know it, is no longer an option. Feeling “fine”, when you know you are capable of feeling extraordinary, is no longer acceptable. Knowing that you can attain the previously believed unattainable is where it’s at. And today, I’m starting my personal revolution.
Today was one of those days that all of us emotional, crazy, hormonal girls have where we just can’t get those jeans up and fitting the way they should or did a couple of weeks ago. Those days leave us feeling defeated, aggravated, irritated at our own bodies and ideals, cursing the chocolate industry that we have come to depend on for our daily ration of sanity in a tin wrapper. And when realizing that you are capable of so much more from within, it can spur a revolution, even if it is just a personal one.
Now, I’ve touted all of the accomplishments I have when it comes to sports and activity – ie, my lumberjack days, the horse riding and loving the outdoors, but those days haven’t been as prevalent in my daily ritual as I would have loved, because of injury (lumberjack injuries – two slipped discs and pinched sciatic), time (it takes at least 2 1/2 hours to spend with your ponies everyday), and outdoor conditions (geez, it’s cold and like hell if I’m going to go “run” outdoors and freeze my flanges off!)
But after watching Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution with Ben and taking our 1 hour afterwork/studying walk – and my crazy hormonal “I’m a fat girl” crying panic during it, I realized that I’m not a victim of the circumstances that got me to the now uncomfortable way I’m feeling, slowly, gradually and progressively it’s taken over, but I played the key role in allowing it to happen.
Never in my life have I been a “runner”. I’m a Czech girl with large calves, thunder thighs and a 135 pounds of muscle mass to her name, yeah I checked and got it all calculated – that’s a lot of muscle for an average girl. Even at the “ideal” BMI range of 145 pounds (I snigger to myself) I would appear sickly, skinny and like I’m suffering from an eating disorder. Even in high school I was not this tiny. During volleyball seasons and running a combined 5-6 miles a day, doing 250 pushups during practice, or 200 sit ups during that span I was still 160. But my current weight is also not ideal since it can only serve to exacerbate the injuries I’m already plagued with.
But no more. Ben and I are fairly healthy people as it is. I assure you. He’s a veggie freakazoid, double fiber bread-aholic, anti-white bread eating machine of eating well. I’m doing okay, but clearly this blog and baking experiments have not helped. See that little spare tire hanging around that midsection? That never used to be there. And it is NOT welcome anymore!